


Don't you (forget about me)

by SailorStarDust1



Category: Metal Gear
Genre: Excessive smoking, Falling In Love, Implied Sexual Content, Implied VQuiet, Lime, M/M, Past BBEva, Past BBKaz - Freeform, Past JackBoss, it's complicated - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-21
Updated: 2017-06-21
Packaged: 2018-11-16 07:42:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11249325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SailorStarDust1/pseuds/SailorStarDust1
Summary: Ocelot attempts to cheer Kaz up during their mutual period of loneliness.





	Don't you (forget about me)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [CoreBlooddrinker](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CoreBlooddrinker/gifts), [yamaneko19xx](https://archiveofourown.org/users/yamaneko19xx/gifts).



> The title comes from a Simple Minds song that I feel is equally fitting for both OcelHira and VKaz :3 (Speaking of: VOcelot seems sadly neglected!) 
> 
> I'm just weak for OcelHira/OceKaz with BB as an OT3, too.

1979.

The month or the time of year, none of that really mattered anymore.

Not without his leadership, _his_ guidance to see things through while Kazuhira took care of the home front, as it were.

…Their long gone home, covered in flames, remnants within the Caribbean ocean depths below.

Had it really been four years since the coma? It was too hard to believe.

All he felt he could do, in such desolate moments, was gaze out towards the choppy evening sea with distant stars his lone companion, as his knuckles tightly gripped the safety railing below.

Truthfully…

He was terrified that Snake would never wake up.

At least Zero had ‘generously’ ensured Kazuhira wouldn't have to go it alone—offering the services of the ~~rival? beloved?~~ friend who had known Big Boss ten years longer.

The former subcommander still remembered the bitter—certainly not jealous—scoff escaping his throat in response to the Major’s ‘reassurance’ of Ocelot’s skills, let alone wisdom.

And yet, Snake’s personal—vague whisperings, honestly—mentioning his former partner(?) EVA during their MSF days was met with teasing from Kaz, rather than anger.

Thousands of miles between them and wanting separate things in life, was good reason why Kaz felt safe in his eventual relationship with Snake, he supposed.

Had he met EVA, Kaz would've happily flirted, anyway. (…Before Snake would rightfully so beat his ass before Kaz grew aware of what hit him, but that was another story altogether.)

Perhaps it was all irrelevant, when sooner than later, this scrap of metal would turn into something bigger, better. Kaz would ensure it.

Sooner than later, Snake _would_ wake up, and together they'd get their—

“Shouldn't you be restin’?”

Kaz made a show of loudly sighing towards that approaching voice and jangling spurs. But not before adjusting his own beret. Would Snake have felt it suited him…?

“Bit difficult when there's constant planning to do.”

He'd rather not think how Ocelot had helped advise these Seychellen waters as the perfect location far away from the various factions that wanted Big Boss’s head. One small platform with maybe fifty men and women currently volunteering _would_ expand under his own eyes—begrudgingly, with Ocelot’s calm advice, as usual.

Diamond Dogs, their new home.

A part of Kaz secretly hoped Snake would be proud of the hard work upon awakening, that their dream of MSF, and the fallen, would never be forgotten.

Ocelot shook his head before nonchalantly flicking away a speck of dust from his red scarf. “Planning is fine, but overwork?” A snort. “Miller, you're headed for an early grave at this rate. It's well after midnight. Our recruits resting _especially_ means you have no excuse.”

Immediately, Kaz grit his teeth. The attack in ‘75 had only worsened his pride, his independence. “Your advice is unwarranted when it comes to personal matters, Ocelot. I don't know how many times I can—”

Rough lips suddenly pressing against Miller’s own quickly shut him up. The deepening, messy, kiss quickly silenced those internal fears where he’d force himself keep busy in order to push far away: _What if Snake never woke up?_

So, Ocelot was in  _that_ kind of mood, eh? He'd have no trouble complying when it had last been a few weeks for either of them, work coming first to personal pleasure.

Attempts at bedding anyone ever since the helicopter crash, man or woman—or hell, even someone as infuriating as Ocelot—just hadn't been the same as _him._ At least the devious cat knew exactly how to take Miller’s mind away from the pain, even temporarily.

And right now, pushing Kaz up against a support pillar, those gloved hands freely roaming to unbutton Miller’s long trench coat and undershirt, essentially sucking on the subcommander’s neck in long, lazy, movements as the lower halves of their bodies began grinding together…Ocelot was doing a _damn_ fine job.

Their rough fucking, numerous times in these several years, was just a foregone conclusion to ease numerous mutual feelings: the heartache, the loneliness, and their feelings for that unconscious man, sleeping away as the world continued to spin and pass him by…

It was best to not give it much thought, after all.

Footsteps of those still-awake scant recruits, further away as they walked about—probably en route to the single room that served as a mess hall to acquire evening rations—barely registered within Miller’s ears, his heavy breathing and thudding heart drowning out all else.

Ocelot had cupped Kazuhira’s chin, deeply staring past those aviators to see understandably, increasingly, tired eyes. Kaz’s breath was quiet, all he could do was breathe as their gaze continued, unbroken. Something stirred deep within his belly, other than the general desire, arousal, whenever Ocelot would can the bullshit and simply give Kaz _that_ look.

“Meet me in my room.”

That warm glove had left Kaz’s chin, Ocelot turning to leave, to quietly walk off into the darkness.

Just as well, when the technically younger of the two needed a moment to process what just transpired between them.

The sex…Well, it certainly wasn't going anywhere.

Kaz’s smile grew, somewhat bitterly, pleased with himself that he'd keep Ocelot waiting.

Ignoring the pain in his heart whenever  _that man_ came to mind grew uncomfortably easier as these long, lonely, years dragged on.

* * *

There was never any harm in their fun—it had been beneficial for their moods, had ultimately been _meaningless_ , and the perfect stress relief—yet arriving to Ocelot’s quarters, politely knocking on the door…

The blonde simply held back a weak chuckle at the sight that greeted him: Ocelot, sprawled naked across his bed, in only his scarf and the bullet necklace…

The ‘come hither’ look in those catlike eyes was all that needed to be said, their bodies drawn to one another like magnets as their mouths and tongues collided over and over and over again…

Miller internally cursed his luck at how easily excited he quickly grew, that it didn’t take much to get him going—despite work stresses naturally dulling his charming, lady-killer, personality from the old days.

Happier times that would never return.

Ocelot merely offered a devilish grin, pushing the newfound subcommander onto his own already disheveled bed, sitting on his knees while taking his time in unbuttoning Miller's pants.

Kaz didn’t think much of it when one of his hands had _almost carefully_ caressed the top of the cowboy’s gray hair that had matched those equally uncomfortable striking gray eyes.

Worse still, was that his own smile was genuine—warm—as Ocelot began setting to work in that otherwise quiet, locked, darkened bedroom within the stillness of the night.

* * *

Together they lay, silent in one another's arms, those crumpled bedsheets covering the bare minimum of their sweat-stained bodies.

A cigarette flickered from Ocelot’s lighter; it was shared between them. They were almost playfully blowing smoke into one another’s mouths if the mood hadn’t felt so…

The lovemaking had been just that, tonight.

Tender. Sweet.

It had hurt, bittersweet memories flooding back to moments of Snake’s genuine kindness.

Kazuhira’s eyes fell to the used condom within Ocelot’s wastebasket. Snake was the only one given the honor of…

Not just due to the circumstances of his mother, but indeed…love…had played a large part.

He swallowed at the memory of Snake. His body, his lips, his scent…

Cigar smoke and blood, on the good days.

Some things were best left private, for only himself and Snake to know. Yet Kaz couldn’t help but dread Ocelot eventually, someway or another, using all of Snake’s secrets, considering that man’s own ‘buddy-buddy’ status with Cipher…

All of it had made Miller sick. His own dealings in that eventual mess—wasn’t the attack ultimately _his_ own fault?—not knowing where Snake was, if current medical staff were properly caring for the _man_ —not just the legend—day and night.

All of it was…

He could only fuzzily remember the Medic alongside them after the crash, forgetting his actual and code name alike, since Kaz was pulled under and heavily sedated so many times that…

Surprisingly soft lips were kissing those gathering, prickling, tears away. Kaz blinked as he returned to the present, somewhat startled by Ocelot’s kindness. He’d rather not recall their calling out each other’s first names tonight. Never before seeing each other in that light.

It was as honestly bizarre as how tender the sex had been.

As an internal counterpoint, Kaz took the cigarette away from Adamska to blow smoke in his face. A nasty, occasional, habit that also helped relieve the stress.

The Russian cowboy merely chuckled as he calmly inquired: “Feelin’ better, sweet honey?”

Immediately paling, the blonde lightly smacked Adamska's back before facing away to smoke.

“Never call me that again.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he caught Ocelot smirking.

Their cigarette sharing…had something of an almost calming quality to it. Yet neither could bring themselves to smoke a cigar.

It would be far too painful.

“But you're feeling more at ease now, right?”

Inhale. Exhale. “……” Round two of blowing smoke into that arrogant man’s face, who once again, chuckled in response.

Full of affection, Ocelot gathered Kaz into his arms—but not before returning the cigarette to his own lips. “You angry dog.”

There was a complete calm in his response as Miller stared dead ahead. “Fuck off.”

More laughter as he killed off the stub into the ashtray atop his nightstand. His tone grew…sincere.

“He’ll wake up soon.”

Miller continued to stare off into space in silence. Refusing to acknowledge whether or not he heard Adam’s words.

There were the vaguest of pangs of guilt that he just couldn’t tell Miller about Zero’s plans for the Phantom, yet…It was the only way to keep John safe.

They all had sacrifices to make in these wandering but not aimless years.

A letter from EVA that lay upon his desk ensured ADAM that both unconscious men—Boss and eventual Phantom alike, were the same status as ever. Better than bad news, he supposed.

For John's sake, he was happy(?) to keep a constantly watchful eye on Miller, and the growth of Diamond Dogs, yet…

“I have business to attend to.” He tapped a freshly lit cigarette for personal enjoyment, stress relief, into the ashtray. “I'll be takin’ some time off for the next few days.”

Kazuhira was not to be fooled.

“Let me see him.”

Calm, yet an undercurrent of…

Well, Adam couldn't quite place it.

The cowboy shook his head, serious catlike grays meeting Miller's unrelenting calm blues.

“You know how security issues are with Snake. It's a liability thing.”

“No. It’s more like neither you or Zero trust me.”

The sudden warmth atop Kazuhira’s cheek was startling, cutting off prior vocal acidity. “Wha—”

“Do you really think John would want _you_ in danger?”

Who could say if the words or the actions caused Miller’s cheeks to burn more?

“Have it your way.” Arms crossed, gaze averted, he let a snort escape. “We’ll talk about this more later, but for now, we both need some shuteye.”

Ocelot began to chuckle at his(…?) dog’s forceful nature, before Kazuhira offered a surprisingly tender goodnight kiss.

Kaz had almost immediately drifted off to sleep—smiling, a calm despite the various anxieties—laying halfway in-between Ocelot’s arm and the large pillow they shared.

Adamska…was surprised to find himself the one to tenderly stroke those blonde locks.

For John’s sake.

Adam’s eyes grew light at the thought, warmth filling his heart as he thought of his beloved, still under and far away.

It was all for John’s sake.

He bent down to kiss Kazuhira’s temple, pulling that younger man into an almost protective embrace.

Certainly, not selfishly for his own…

* * *

Several years later, V—the phantom—was away on a personal mission. Trying to find _her_ , if she was indeed somehow still alive within the Afghanistan deserts. Let her MIA status not have to be regrettably, painfully, updated to KIA upon his gradual return to Mother Base.

As usual, Miller and Ocelot were available to provide support despite being somewhat…preoccupied.

Naked and in bed, Kaz’s ear piece was within reach if Venom needed anything, at least. He’d always be there to help that man, despite various complications thrown their way.

Somewhat begrudgingly, Kazuhira wrapped his lone arm around  _that man_ , who was chuckling lowly due to Ocelot planting tender kisses against his face, his beard…

“I have to say, I’m glad to see you two have been getting along all these years.”

 _Of fucking course_ , Ocelot had to get a jab in. “You'd be surprised. Miller’s been one hell of a handful, darlin’.”

Kaz could only scoff, despite being pulled into a hug from Snake and Ocelot alike throughout the continuous bantering. (He could've sworn the phrase “angry shiba” had been casually tossed around.)

Oddly enough…it was Ocelot who had calmed Miller’s anger upon laying eyes on John that evening. A comforting squeeze to the shoulder, muttering “Breathe, Miller.” into the XO's ear…Before the (admittedly fun) sex gradually happened.

Perhaps Ocelot's reassurance wasn't so strange, given the pure hell they dealt with in these nine years.

John sat upon the edge of the bed, pulling up his boxers and pants. He was casting an apologetic smile in Ocelot’s direction. It had been privately difficult to accept _her son’s_ feelings when she had once been so dear—his beloved—those mixed feelings and betrayals still a source of confusion within his tired heart…

Yet for Adam’s sake, John would _try_ to make something between the three of them work. Between Adam and Kaz both…If Kaz would eventually welcome Snake back. EVA had been understandably busy with her own work that their own ‘meetings’ were unfortunately few and far between.

“I have to get back. Sorry.”

A bitter retort from Kazuhira, sitting upright as his lone arm draped around Adam. “Of course you won’t spend the night.”

His eye fell upon to the blonde, whose nostrils flared in reply.

“Why don’t you come back with me, Kaz?”

“Why don’t you go fuck yourself, _Boss_?”

Snake laughed before silently resuming his getting dressed. Ocelot, for his part, merely rolled his eyes at their more acidic banter, smoking in silence.

And yet Snake suddenly wrapped his arms around an almost purring Ocelot's waist, who calmly blew a smoke ring into the man’s waiting mouth. John’s reply to Adam was warm: “I’ll see you.”

Kazuhira quickly broke away from Ocelot upon witnessing those farewells and internally shuddered. Their sappy ‘we’re sooo close’ routine wasn’t even the worst of it.

His jealousy wasn’t towards Snake as much as…

_Fuck!_

Grumbling while keeping his gaze fixed onto the messy blankets, Kaz felt his chin lifted up, those painfully familiar lips capturing his own. His hand shot upwards to bring that leather jacket down, greedily deepening their farewell (for now) kiss.

Possession. Intentionally saying goodbye, saving the goodbye—for a former, loving, partner—last.

Big Boss quietly shut the door to Kaz’s room behind him, wearing a balaclava so nobody would suspect.

Only his lingering, forever familiar, scent of cigar smoke remained.

Dull blue eyes were meanwhile wide from an internal realization.  _I’m still…fuck. I just...can’t let_ him _go._

He turned, to quietly admit to Adam. Only to Adam.

“Things between us can’t ever return to those days.”

Sighing, Ocelot’s arms wrapped around Miller’s chest, pulling him back onto the bed, and against him. He was comfortable in his own nudity. “Sorry, partner.”

The XO of Diamond Dogs sniffled before adding: “It still stings.”

His cowboy nodded with a politely averted gaze, brushing blonde hair back, kissing that chin scruff. “Need help gettin’ dressed?”

“I’m fine, thanks.” The response would sound bitter to most, but by now, Ocelot knew Miller well enough.

For Kaz’s part, these mixed up feelings were simply the worst.

No real solution in sight.

Ocelot had grown quiet, reclined against Miller’s bed, hand behind his head as he finished smoking his cigarette thoughtfully. That bitter promise, once Kaz discovered the truth months before Venom Snake had soon discovered it for himself…

Their ‘promise’ couldn’t come to pass.

Not now, and not anymore.

He’d find a way to protect Miller—for John’s sake, certainly, always for John’s sake—but especially, for his own. Ensure Miller remained off the grid, safe and sound, if need be.

Their mutual protectiveness, Kaz tonight was almost vaguely insulted whenever Snake had been more warm towards himself than towards Ocelot…

Both men who had fallen for Big Boss, and hard…were so utterly screwed. Thanks to these unintentional, yet  _somewhat_ welcome, feelings.


End file.
